Defcon Dad

Household Readiness Level. Currently Elevated.
DEFCON 5: Coffee Acquired. DEFCON 4: Kids Behaving. DEFCON 3: Lawn Uncut. DEFCON 2: Mom's Mad. DEFCON 1: Who Touched My Tools.

He monitors the threat level around the clock. Most days stay at a manageable 4 or 5. But cross into DEFCON 1 territory and the whole household goes on full alert — because nobody touches the tools. Nobody.

The DEFCON Dad Tee from Brass Rain's Father's Day Collection is the most accurate readiness chart ever printed. Every dad knows exactly which level he's operating at — and every family knows not to push it to 1.
For the dad whose household runs on situational awareness.
Premium heavyweight tee. Currently at DEFCON 2 — tread carefully.